Sorry for being way behind in messages! I need to work on that…

Quick update before I go to bed—still good with the skin care, had a sort of built-up-urge minor picking session but washed my face after and moved on. 

Self-indulgent rant of frustration under the cut…

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You will be okay <3Checkout my Facebook | Tumblr to follow all my illustration/animation happenings :)


You will be okay <3

Checkout my Facebook | Tumblr to follow all my illustration/animation happenings :)

So far so good with the skin routine! My face is looking much healthier, and I’ve been able to resist daytime urges and go to bed pick-free. What I’ve noticed in the past though is that whenever I’m able to do so, I usually have a rough night. So the past couple mornings I’ve essentially woken up with my hands scouring my face but I’ve been really good about not letting it escalate. I go to the mirror but instead of continuing to pick and saying “who cares at this point,” I’ve been miraculously able to force myself into my skin care routine as a replacement behavior. This morning instead of waking up and having my hands fly to my face they flew to my back for a few seconds. Progress? I’m using a Neutrogena acne fighting body wash for my back and shoulders. As always, results are very motivating and I’m feeling very good about where this is headed. Getting a new spot treatment also helped because it’s essential for “doing something” for spots I want to pick. The one thing I’m worried about is how urges tend to build up after each 24 hours of fighting them. I found a few bottle caps that I picked the vinyl lining off of…I don’t think there will ever be a more effective self-soothing behavior for me than this one I adopted as a young girl. But I’m searching for something I can do before bed to get that last bit of stress and anxiety out of me.

As of tonight I am forcing myself to stick to my skin care routine. No deviating, no skipping anything! It’s easy to when you feel like you’ll just damage and dirty your face anyway, and it’s easy to forget when you’re lying around feeling depressed with no motivation to do much of anything. But skin care is so important, and I have a feeling that if I take care of my face and keep it clean then I will be less likely to WANT to mess it up. I’m asking my mom to help keep me accountable but she’s pretty forgetful so I’m letting you guys know about my latest endeavor :) Maybe I’ll take pictures and show what progress I make.

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In case you haven’t felt appreciated today: I love you guys. You keep me alive. I hope you know how wonderful you are, just being you.


ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. It has to do with certain sounds triggering a pleasant tingly sensation in the scalp/head/spine area. If you search “ASMR” on Youtube you will find plenty of videos, mostly young women speaking in relaxing voices, using special 3D microphones. Everyone has different “triggers” (which are good in this case). It’s often simple actions like tapping on certain surfaces, brushing hair, unwrapping, crinkling, stones or beads clacking together, etc. These Youtubers will also do some roleplaying and speak to the camera as if you were at a spa or dentist or haircut appointment, etc. That’s where it gets kind of silly and awkward to me. But supposedly it helps a lot of people feel relaxed and have their ASMR triggered.

I haven’t spent much time looking into this response and haven’t experienced it myself, but it seems like an interesting phenomenon. I wanted to share it with you guys because some aspects of it remind me of the sensations we may get from BFRBs, skin picking in particular. Common ASMR triggers have a lot to do with texture, and I know for many of us there is a need for that physical release from popping a pimple or peeling of a rough scab that sits on smooth skin. Or even with trich, many people report searching for the “perfect pull”—a hair that is thicker or more coarse than the others. Comment below; let us know if you’ve experienced or even heard of ASMR.

I know that a lot of people in the BFRB community experience other things that concern the 5 senses, for example synesthesia or misophonia. I was hoping this might help some people achieve a relaxing or euphoric sensation that is not damaging like BFRBs.