finally on antibiotics and my legs are clearing up

I get where Beckie is coming from here and I just wanted to say that what she says near the end of the video rings true for me too—I won’t be especially loud or activist-y. For me this is simply due to the fact that I have had to “put myself first” a lot lately and unfortunately my presence online has suffered for that. 

It’s a complex issue, how our community is represented socially and medically. However I do think that the BFRB umbrella-term is best for raising awareness for all disorders at this moment in time. Derma/excoriation disorder does suffer its own stigmas of being a more “normal” behavior and thus not as serious. Piggybacking on trichotillomania which does get more attention despite being somewhat less prominent….well I don’t think it’s a disaster, especially due to the number of people who suffer from both. And medically, treatments coming out for one behavior will likely benefit the next. As Beckie says they are different, HOWEVER referring to them as a set of behaviors reflects the fact that they likely emerge from the same genetic difference. I think of them as obsessive (and destructive) self-grooming behaviors, which as it happens often evolve and change for people in their manifestations.

I dunno. It’s hard. It’s confusing. We all want and need help and I don’t think banding together this week is bad. I will be somewhat preoccupied though and I really wish I could be there for everyone more this week and every week…

Here’s a tip: 



BFRB Awareness Week is coming, and we’ve got a lot planned! Here’s the first release of what we’re doing, and we need your participation for it!

I Have Long Nails So I Won't Pick At My Skin →

Stumbled across this funny article after searching for ways to hide the scabs currently on my legs (article on the same site, recommended mixing lotion with foundation). 

I have a dance class today and while I’ve been good to my face, parts of my arms and legs are speckled with the places I messed with my (probable) staph infection.

I have to wear shorts and a tank so there’s no covering up that way. My current weapons include confidence and a band-aid on the worst part on my right shin. I asked my mom if it looked weird and she said it was definitely noticeable and asked what I would say if someone asked me about it (THANKS). I said, “the truth.” And I will in that case. 

Anyway I’ve been growing MY nails out and I thought this was good for a laugh.


Newest self portrait on skin picking disorders (dermotillomania).

Update: the nail polish hasn’t helped much but I also forgot to start by linking the scent to anti-picking mantras which has helped me with lotions in the past. The scent is still there. The polish hasn’t chipped and I am actually pretty impressed with the consistency, although some people have had a bad experience with it so maybe the bottles are sort of hit or miss.

September has GOT to be a big step forward for me. I don’t care about keeping “pick free” flawlessly, but something about the fresh start of a new month helps me psychologically. And I try my best every month, every day really…but right now I feel like I’m set up to do well this September. I don’t know why. I have a good feeling about it. And I’m not one to trust my intuition especially when it comes to unpredictable picking. But I just feel very strongly that I am at a point in my life that I need to move forward and leave the grips of this disorder behind. I know it will follow me my whole life. But for now, I need it to bug off. I’m going to try REALLY hard. I want it for myself and I also want to bring some hope to the community. 

Stay tuned for some new mantras I wrote in the shower. (Literally…on waterproof paper)

PS sorry I haven’t been interacting much with everyone on here…it’s the fatigue. What I wouldn’t do to not have this constant freakin fatigue.