Folding star origami is my favorite #fidget toy for my #dermatillomania
Love these things! They are so cute. I feel like if I relearned how to make them it would be really satisfying to fill up a big glass jar with lots of different colored ones like these.
Me too, every time! The appointment went really well. Started off filling out a questionnaire about how I’ve been feeling this week, which I’ll have to do every time so there’s a record of how I’m doing. The counsellor is, as I predicted, a jolly nice guy who seems to get me. We have the same silly sense of humour at least. I was surprised by how comfortable I felt, really. I was able to go over all the main events from my past I’m most troubled by without weeping (although my voice did waver a bit), which in itself feels like good progress. I must be coming to terms with it all.
We didn’t talk very much about picking, which is fine. Pretty much after these last six months of self-reflection and research I know all there is to know about my dermatillomania problem. At this point it’s just a bad behaviour which needs to be replaced. If I start to feel differently we can discuss that at some future appointment. For now I’m feeling very hopeful that he can teach me how better to manage my anxieties, so that I don’t need to pick anymore and can finally, finally, let myself heal.
The funny thing is, there’s a laser skin clinic next door to this psychology clinic! My plan is that if I can go for an entire year without picking, and if I feel rich enough, I’ll start looking into professional skin treatments to help undo all that damage. Baby steps, though!
That’s so great to hear! I know what you mean about feeling strangely comfortable. The first few times I was expected to bare my soul to a stranger in some room I was a tearful, uneasy, shaky mess. I’ve now accepted my past and so telling “my story” isn’t difficult anymore. It’s just handling the present.
I’m also glad to hear that you feel knowledgable about your picking. That’s also a very good feeling and much better than that dark, lonely, confusing place we have all been in. Wishing you the best!
Sophie is incredible. I’m so happy to see an article about her work.
Oh my goodness..thank you! I try to be there for everyone in this community, even if “being there” means just that, literally. I’m just kind of ~here~ haha :D But I just love everyone on here so much and helping anyone in the smallest of ways is more than I could ask for. Hugs xoxo =)
Hey I have really treatment resistant depression... I had tried a lot of first line drugs like SNRIs SSRIs etc. and through that I had no hope what so ever. But keep being honest with your doctor because there are stronger medications out there such as TCA/tricyclics and MAOIs. (And even if these fail- ECT could be an option) Now I'm on nortriptyline, which is a tricyclic and it really helps when lexapro, cymbalta, Zoloft, Prozac, pristiq and many others did absolutely nothing. So have hope. 💜
<3 Thank you so much for the advice and reassurance! I sometimes feel like I’m a freak because ever since my depression became severe, I simply haven’t benefited from treatment in any significant way. It’s as if everyone keeps thinking it should be better but it just isn’t. I’ve met other patients who got better. I have healthy friends who are getting accepted to colleges and constantly moving forward in their lives. And I’m just stuck! Thanks again. It’s good to be reminded that the docs aren’t going to just give up on me. And I’ll try to do so too.
Are you on Anxiety meds as well? When I was on both it helped stabilize my mind and it helped me :) Best of luck to you!!
Nope currently on Wellbutrin XL (300mg) in the morning and Zoloft (200mg) at night. Those are like the max dosages and with each increase I felt no difference. Medications and therapy used to do so much for me.
I know I’ve tried other weird combos when I was at the day treatment place, and I’m sure some of them were anxiety meds. The psych I had there was getting pretty creative and desperate. Unfortunately every improvement I’ve had over the past year+ has been minute and short-lived at best. I didn’t know it was possible for depression to be so treatment-resistant. Hopefully something will make a difference soon!
Remember to celebrate the little victories.
If you managed not to pick for a few minutes,
If you only picked at one spot instead of all of them,
If you picked at all except one,
If you put on some ointment and a bandage instead,
If you went out regardless of how bad you felt about your skin,
If you got out of bed,
If you only made it to the door,
If you spent one less minute in front of the mirror,
If you walked around your house without makeup or covering up,
If you opened up to someone even a little bit,
Even if you end up picking yourself to pieces later, if you had any sort of moment of reprieve,
No matter what the little victory is, it’s important to celebrate those moments because even the slightest change in routine can lead to something more. And even the smallest break from this madness is amazing.
I never pity myself. I am, however, sad that this is real for me.
It’s awful that anyone would have to do this to themselves to feel more perfect and less anxious. Each of those spots is raw and sore to the touch and won’t heal for weeks. You can see a couple of indented spots in the picture on the upper right corner because I can’t stop picking and digging deeper and deeper. Literal chunks of my skin are missing from my face…
What have I done.
Trying to stay positive. Wishing everyone a goodnight and calm fingers <3
My skin looks VERY similar to yours (I also have the redhead fair skin & freckles). I too have indents and “literal chunks missing.” It sucks. And I don’t know about you but my skin is crazy sensitive and that makes everything 10x worse. Anyway I am sending you warm thoughts. Know that I can relate!